Can't you find a clue?
When your eyes are all painted Sinatra blue?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Something to say
I honestly feel that a lot of the time, I have nothing to do. It's not that there's an actual lack of activities at hand, just none that conveniently fall into my lap and require zero effort on my part. It's almost frightening how little motivation I have. To be honest, my lack of motivation is what started/continues this whole redundantly vicious cycle. You'd think that after 9 years of having this issue, I'd have come up with something resembling gumption, or something along those lines. But for all the issues I've talked about for so long with so many people who were there to help, the only thing I've come up with is that in my mind, the ability to do something is equal to having already done it. Which makes sense, but leaves me nowhere. It's not that I'm not grateful for the opportunities I've had, or the people who have tried their best to help me, I'm more grateful to them than I really know how to express, it's just that I'm miserably close to, if not still in the exact same position I was in when this whole thing began. I guess we have to forge our own paths at some point, I just wish I had gotten to a higher plateau, if you will, before having to start out on my own.
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Hey, David! We are in class right now!
ReplyDeletei seem to find myself in the same position. i sit around on my ass all day knowing the list of fun (and not so fun) things to do and all i find myself doing is playing farmville. :)
ReplyDeleteI am in the same boat as well.. damn facebook!
ReplyDeleteI know I have too much to do and I have too much I want to do, but I always seem so caught in the moment I get absolutely nothing done. Then I always complain about not having enough time. xD I guess that is kinda like this. In a way. Haha.
ReplyDeleteYou have expressed what you're going through really well in this post. I certainly felt this way once, and you've already reached the most important realization which is finding your motivation. You are right that it is impossible to do anything without motivation, and college is so rigorous that sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me going. There have been many times where I have said that I was not ready for college when I started, and I should have taken a year to grow a little more. You got the opportunity to spend time in Israel, which would be very inspiring. Even if you have not yet found some specific dream to pursue, I wonder if there is still something that could motivate you from that experience?
ReplyDeleteI blame it all on the internet. Ok, maybe its my fault for becoming addicted to it, but the internet has everything you could ever imagine, literally at your fingertips. So why go out and do something when you can sit at your laptop? I wish motivation came in a shot and we could just be injected with some... lol
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